Category: 40 Days of Desiring God

It’s funny how I can be so strong in the Lord in so many ways, and yet, struggle in my confidence in 2 important areas of my life. One is leadership and the other is relationships.

Leadership. One of my favorite genre of books to read is on leadership. I don’t know for sure just how many books that I have read on the subject, but I highly enjoy reading them, and one of my favorite authors on leadership is John Maxwell.

In his book “The 21 irrefutable Laws of Leadership” he makes a statement that seems so true. If you are a leader and you look over your shoulder and no one is following, then you are just out for a walk. That’s how it feels so many times with the different leadership roles that I serve.

I often feel as if I am out for a walk. I work very hard to put into practice all the things that I have learned, not only from secular books, but also from the most important book – the Bible. There is no doubt that Satan is on the attack in my moments of doubt.

I know that the Lord has me in the place that He wants me to serve, but I so often feel like I am a hinderance rather than well-spring of blessing. I daily rely on God’s grace and I know that’s it’s sufficient for all my needs. I am grateful that it’s not about me, but for the glory of God. His word will not return void. So, I press on that I might finish the race and hear those precious words from Jesus – “well done, thou good and faithful servant.”

It’s been about 2 weeks now since I began suffering with back pain that made it very difficult to move. Naturally I prayed and had others pray as well and God delivered me. He has healed me from the pain.

One of the blessings that I experienced through the pain was my daily dependence on God. Every time I moved, I was in sheer pain and calling out to the Lord and it’s as if I could actually feel Jesus’ hand lifting me up. I certainly don’t want to hurt like that, but it brought me even closer to God. I never want to lose that intimacy and dependence on the grace of JEHOVAH-ROPHE (one of the names for God meaning “The Lord who heals”).

I watched the movie “Remember The Titans” tonight and was still moved by this true story of unity on a football team between black and white players and coaches.

It’s a great movie with a far greater spiritual impact than the movie portrays. I don’t want to take away from the movie, but we should be in unity with all peoples. In fact, we are commanded to do so. In Matthew, Jesus was asked what was the greatest commandment. Jesus replies that the greatest commandment was to love God and the second is like it – to love our neighbors. The pharisees ask for one and Jesus gave them two.

The truth is, that we are made in God’s image. That’s every man, woman and child of every race of mankind. And God’s love for man is so great, that He gave His Son Jesus to pay the debt that we could not pay for our sin so that we could come back into fellowship with God. That’s true love, and the kind of love that we are to have for each other. The second commandment.

These two commandments are so important that Jesus would say that all the law and the prophets hang on them. If we don’t love God and each other than nothing else matters. We don’t have the love of God in us.

Love never fails.

The old saying, “An idle mind is the devil’s workshop,” is so very true today. Trying to keep my thoughts pure and holy is one of the hardest things that I can do in my desire for God.

Paul tells us in Philippians 4:8 “Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things.” Certainly this is easier said than done, or is it?

The best way for me to know what is pure, true, noble and just, is to know God’s word. Spending my idle time not only meditating on God’s word, but also memorizing scripture, is a cure for the battle of the  mind and thus enabling me to better live for Jesus everyday. I must make that conscience effort to not only start my day with the Lord, but finish the day strong for the glory of God and my Lord and Savior Jesus.

Jesus said in Matthew 12:34,”…what ever is in abundance in the heart the mouth speaks.” This is a perfect tool for me to gauge where my heart is at any given time of the day. Is my speech praiseworthy, or noble, or pure? Does it Glorify God? Am I edifying all those around me or am I thinking of myself so much that I am missing all the opportunities to serve the Lord through the Holy Spirit to this lost and dying world?

Though I am not perfect and I will stumble, I press on. I must daily put on the mind and heart of Christ to serve Him and bring Him all glory and honor. My prayer is for God to draw me close to Him so that I am swallowed up in His infinite Grace and glory.

If the body is the temple, then I am a mega church. Ok, I am not as big as I once was but I still have more weight to lose. It’s a daily battle that I have been fighting for a very long time.

The opening line is a funny quote from a christian comedian named Mike Williams. Mike is also a big guy,who like me, pokes fun at himself in his comedy show – something I have been doing in my shows for about 30 years. Don’t get me wrong, it wasn’t self loathing, but making fun of myself was funny and I had a good time doing so.

Times have changed though. I still make fun of myself when performing, but I have a different perspective now. One that reflects my value, not to my self, but to my Lord.

Paul tells us in 1 Corinthians chapter 6, that I am not my own, that I have been bought with a price. And who paid the price? Jesus. He died so that I would live. Jesus lives in my heart and that makes my body the temple. The realization that I have lived a life that would pollute the place where the Holy Spirit of God resides is, well, is deplorable.

It isn’t just sin that pollutes my body, it’s also the over consumption of food. I have lost nearly one hundred pounds, but I still need to lose one hundred more. If I have been bought with a price, then I should be much more aware of what goes in my body and not just through the mouth, but also the eyes and the mind.

God has been showing me so many things in my walk with Him about my body. I’m not talking about legalism here, I am talking about living a holy life for the glory of Jesus Christ. All the things that I have used to please my self-indulgence has been replaced with unmeasurable joy in living for Jesus. He is my deliverer, my everything. Nothing on this earth could ever satisfy me the way God does through His son Jesus Christ. I spent so many years pursuing the gifts instead of the gift giver – God. I fall to my knees in awe of Him and His infinite grace.

Satan did a pretty good job of blinded me to the real pleasures of God, but I know I am forgiven and cleansed from my unrighteousness. It’s not the past that matters, that’s gone, but the future I have in following Jesus. With my eyes on Jesus, it’s not so hard carrying my cross, especially since I am not carrying it alone.

Walking in the spirit is easier said than done. However, it is a choice. A choice to be like Jesus. We are  to “put on the mind of Christ” daily.This is done through prayer and reading the Bible.

It never fails that when I purposefully set out to walk in the Spirit, I no sooner get out of the house when I am slammed by Satan and/or his demons. Yet, that is the gauge at which I know that I am walking in the Spirit. If I am not affecting the Kingdom of God for His glory, then it seems the demonic pressure is light to non-existent.

The reality is that I cannot walk in the Spirit exhibiting the “fruits of the spirit” on my own strength. I need, no, must have the power of the Lord through the filling of the Holy Spirit. Apart from Christ, I can do nothing – but with Jesus all things are possible, and that fills my heart with great joy. Knowing that as I go through this day walking in the spirit, I am not alone.

So, Satan and his demons can attack all they want, but the battle was over when Jesus said on the cross “it is finished.” Nothing can happen to me unless it is God’s will and then His grace is sufficient for me to persevere through any thing that the devil throws at me.

Tonight was spent reflecting on the greatest love anyone has ever had for me – the love of Christ. Jesus lived a perfect life and became the sacrifice paying the price for my sins – death on the cross. But not just His death, but His resurrection completing the work of the Father.

It saddens me to think that I helped cause the pain and suffering that led Jesus to the cross. And yet, as a believer, the Holy Spirit begins to fill my heart with the love and grace that Jesus so freely gives. Sadness is then replaced by joy and a peace that transcends all understanding. Experiencing Agape (sacrificial love) love not only brings tears of joy to my eyes but fills my heart with gladness because of a God who so loves me that He sent His only son to die for my sins so that I could come back to Him in fellowship.

But, it doesn’t stop there. Sharing Agape love with all those around me brings even more joy into my life. After all, it is the second commandment that Jesus gave to the Pharisees in Matthew 22:34-40 when they had ask Him what was the greatest commandment. “The first and greatest commandment,” Jesus said,  “is to love God with all of hearts, minds and strength and the second is like it, to love your neighbor as yourself.”

I cannot do this Agape love – to love others as God has loved me with grace and forgiveness – on my own strength. I need Jesus and the Holy Spirit to empower me. This can only happen when I first make the choice to do so, and I choose to love people the way Christ has loved me. Yes, that opens myself up to be hurt or taken advantage of, but the rewards are great for those whom I can reach for the glory of God.

I want to be a well-spring of blessings for those around me – not for me, or by me, but by the strength of the Lord. Will I be perfect? No. But I press on in the forgiveness of my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. Daily growing in his sanctifying love and power moving toward perfection.

This is my purpose in life – to glorify God and his son Jesus Christ.

Day 20 brings me half way through the 40 Days of Desiring God. The first 20 days has been full of Satanic attack along with many victories and miracles. God’s love for me is so immense that it’s hard to imagine letting anything rob me of the joy of my salvation.

The next 20 days (and beyond since this is a lifetime desire to live for God and His glory and be satisfied with all that He is for me in Christ Jesus) will be more exciting. But, then again, living a spirit filled life for the glory of Christ is nothing short of exciting. Jesus said in John 14:12 “…the works that I do shall he do also; and greater works than these shall he do…”

There is nothing more joyous – more wondrous than living for Jesus.

Tonight, I was blessed to be part of a variety show benefiting a mission trip to Guatemala at Oakhill Baptist Church. Performing in the show was a drama team, a dance team, several people singing, and a poetry reading. I was next to last in the line up with my illusion show.

There is not doubt that God was glorified and the Holy Spirit was moving through the entire evening. The music set the table for the night and the skit brought a powerful message based on a true story of one person’s influence for the glory of God.

Then came my part which is mostly comedy mixed in with illusions along with a message from the Lord. My timing was off and the first trick didn’t go as planned. However, the night, as well as my performance, was all about glorifying God and being obedient in the command that Jesus gives us in Matthew 28:19 – To “go” …

While I felt that my performance was not up to par, the audience was very appreciative, both during and after the show. In spite of my “weakness,” Jesus was made strong. One of the most beautiful aspects of desiring God is using the talents that He gives us to share with the world the love and grace of our Lord Jesus Christ.

“Redeemer,” one of the many names for Jesus,  means Jesus is our redemption. Jesus paid our debt that we owed to God’s law so that we could have a place in His family.

One of the marvelous joys that we experience throughout our Christian life is the joy of our salvation. David wrote in Psalm 51:12, “Restore to me the joy of my salvation…” David had lost his joy after he had committed adultery with Bathsheba and then having her husband killed to help conceal that sin. The prophet Nathan was sent by God to expose David’s sin and bring him back into fellowship with Himself. That’s grace. Confessing our sins to God and Him forgiving our sins and cleansing us from all our unrighteousness (1 John 1:9).

The joy that is in our salvation is knowing that we cannot earn God’s redemption – it is a free gift. The price of sin is death and that price was paid by Jesus shedding his blood on the cross. Our joy comes from knowing that while we were yet sinners, Christ loved us and died for us so that we might live.

As I think about this joy for my own life, I see that  joy is grace and grace is joy. When I think about true joy, I am thinking about God’s grace toward me – a sinner forgiven, and when I think about God’s grace, well,  that brings me joy. So no matter what each new day brings, I know that I have the joy of my salvation in my Redeemer, Jesus!